How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety: And Abstinence, Drugs, Satanism, and Other Dangers That Threaten Their Nine Lives

September 17, 2017 - Comment

The cats of America are under siege!  Long gone are the good old days when a cat’s biggest worries were mean dogs or a bath. Modern cats must confront satanists, online predators, the possibility of needing to survive in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, and countless other threats to their nine lives. For over four decades, the American

The cats of America are under siege! 
 
Long gone are the good old days when a cat’s biggest worries were mean dogs or a bath. Modern cats must confront satanists, online predators, the possibility of needing to survive in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, and countless other threats to their nine lives.

For over four decades, the American Association of Patriots have stood at the vanguard of our country’s defense by helping to prepare our nation’s cat owners for the difficult conversations they dread having with their pets. Written in a simple Q&A format, How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety answers crucial questions such as, “What is the right age to talk to my cat about the proper use of firearms?” and “What are the benefits of my cat living a lifestyle of abstinence?” and especially “Why does my cat need to use the internet? Can’t he just play with yarn like cats used to do?”

Our country—and our cats—stand at a precipice. It will take courage, and it will take hard work, but armed with the knowledge within these pages, we can make our cats—and America—great again!

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Comments

Nathan says:

Depends on the cat One cat loved it, the other thought it was very boring. See pictures.

TM says:

CATNIP IS A GATEWAY DRUG! Capt whiskerfuzzy pant’s father is doing fifteen to life in cat prison. You owe it to your pets to teach them about the pitfalls of catnip and the gateway drug that it is. After reading this to my cats, I can honestly say that feline related shootings in my house have been zero.

HurleyP. says:

Talk About a Godsend… I’m so glad someone finally put this information out. I never would’ve been able to approach my cat about gun safety, or overcome my fears that maybe he was in league with the dark lord. Now I can put all of my anxiety to bed and have a more meaningful relationship with my cat. Thank you Mr. Auburn!

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